This post may sound a little unusual for me, but I'm human I can have my moments too. I am usually a very optimistic and positive person, especially when it comes to giving other people advice or being positive for them. On the other hand, when it comes to myself I can be a little bit harder and negative. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE! I need to start treating myself like I treat my friends. In my head I know I'm not perfect but there's just some days where I just want things to be easy.
These past two weeks have been nothing but easy. I had plans of starting to get healthy and work out, well it didn't happen. From my last post I had friends texting me and asking if I wanted to work out. Of course I did because it's easier to work out if you have plans with someone because you can both hold each other accountable. I still have yet to text any of them (I'm sorry if you're one of them) I just was not in the mood. Every day, I mean every day this week I have cried. Whether it was a youtube video, an article, a death or anything I was just an emotional wreck. I'm normally fine after one good cry, but no I had what seems like a million this week. And with emotions comes the eating...I craved the worst foods. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't cut anything out if I try to eat healthier because I say that I can still have something and lose weight. I did not eat a single thing that was right this week. This is going to change. When I get in these funks, yeah I can have some ice-cream or cookies, but I also need to try to incorporate something healthy in there as well.
I know that this will pass and I will get back on track but I have never been off track this much, but it was just a rough week. I want to start making little changes every week because I have found that if you change everything right away then you won't be as successful if you were to change things slowly. It's not only dietary and exercise habits that are going to be implemented, it's going to be body-image therapy as well. It's hard to tell yourself some days that you are beautiful so what I found on Pinterest was a motivation wall. I will probably ask my close friends and family for an encouraging word, compliment, or scripture that I can put up on the wall. (If you have one that you want me to put up there I will put it just leave a comment or text me.) Some may say that I have a big ego...oh well...think what you want, I'm doing this for me and not you.
That last line might have sounded like a rant but it was intentional. I have always put other people ahead of myself and I do not mind it at all. I love it because it drives me and makes me know that I'm living a fulfilling life. I rarely do things for myself, but it's just how I've always been and how I was raised. Now it's time to finally do something for myself. I have always wanted to lose weight to impress my friends or to get a guy or to look a certain way. That is so much more tiring than anything is trying to impress people. If I have to impress someone and drain myself then they aren't a true friend. I know who my friends are because they have always been there no matter how I look. This is just something I want to do for CHELSEY!
Until tomorrow....
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